Mentiras, desaciertos y prejuicios

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Por Mery Ann Ramírez

Me parece ridículo y casi inconcebible que en el tiempo en el que vivimos aún haya tabúes por lo menos en este lado del mundo a la hora de hablar de algo tan natural y placentero como el sexo. 

Quiero decir que en lo adelante de este artículo he sacado conclusiones a pesar de ser la autora para esta melodía tengo notas musicales de hombres y mujeres que están hartos de sus insatisfactorios polvos, sin caer en la vulgaridad no hablo precisamente del ambiente; es que seamos sinceros esto hará que sigas leyendo…

Hay muchas lagunas sobre el sexo, este se encuentra vetado en una generación presuntamente moderna en donde como comida más repetitiva del día tenemos los medios de comunicación minados de publicidad con doble sentidos.

Una advertencia suelo ser muy sincera, transparente como un balde de agua limpia, pido excusas de antemano si hago uso de un lenguaje no muy pulcro, por lo general tiendo a escribir como soy culta, pero ¿de que estamos hablando???  ¡Ahhh, sí! de SEXO _Exacto…

He aquí el primer desacierto por más educados y escrupulosos que seamos no debemos llevar esta cualidad a nuestra cama es deprimente cuando quieres compartir un momento de furor y éxtasis, encontrar a la bestia que también es un príncipe y te haga su Bella, y toparte con un hombre cabal…  Upppsss.

Hoy pondré a prueba mis habilidades sensitivas, al escribir no se debe tener un sexo específico se debe sentir como hombre y pensar como mujer, cubrir ambos roles, tirarse al terreno y dejar que el polvo te ensucie, Ok seré más específica dejar que el polvo ambiental te ensucie😜 empezamos…

Como en algunos negocios, como la mayoría de las cosas que se dan entre dos vamos a partir cada punto en un 50/50, las leyes morales han preservado de una forma u otra la sociedad aunque esta hipótesis mía tiene fecha de caducidad, la misma sociedad nos cría con convencionalismos que conforme va pasando el tiempo decaen y cumplirlos resulta casi absurdo.

Mentiras…

 Las proporciones… 

Este asunto de los sizes es bastante relativo; de este lado del globo terráqueo particularmente en Dominicana la mayoría de los hombres tienen un prototipo de mujer de grandes proporciones, unas nalgas  considerables, unos pechos llamativos, en fin y como quedamos que el asunto iba a ser repartido equitativamente las mujeres en este caso no sólo de este lado sino de todos nos ofuscamos en buscar una pija de tamaño GRANDE y es que grande es para nuestro sentido retorcido sinónimo de grandeza sexual, imaginemos que estamos en un circo, que es más importante la dimensión de la varita del mago o la magia que este sepa hacer con ella ?? Vamos entendamos de una vez por todas que la magnitud no importa, lo que hace de un hombre buen polvo no es el volumen de su bengala mágica y para ser sinceros aunque la visión es primordial las tetas y el BIG FAT ASS están de más, ¿de qué te sirve el súper cuerpo si una varilla tiene más movilidad que tú??

¿De qué te sirve el súper pene…? si no tocas todas las teclas no obtendrás la melodía, creo que deje claro que no importa el tamaño, no importa lo que tienes sino lo que sabes hacer con ello.

Prejuicios… 

 Hay que tener modales para todo…

Mentiraaaaa a la mierda los modales, ¿qué busca un hombre en una mujer?? Qué sea una reina, que tenga buen comportamiento, pero que a la hora de la fiesta sea absolutamente una perra, que lo tire lo haga caer y luego vuelva a levantarlo en todos sus sentidos, las mujeres somos un poquito distintas y en este caso más difícil de complacer, no siempre tenemos el mismo humor puede que un día queramos un caramelo y al día siguiente una barra picante, pero tranquilos que esto se resuelve cuando ya conoces tu pareja y sabes de que Modo está… 

 Algunos tips que pueden ayudarte a mejorar tus habilidades…

Seas hombre o mujer, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual lo que seas siempre es bueno saber a qué vamos.

-¡¡Vamos a lo que vinimos!! 

-Al César lo del César, a la hora de la verdad lo que menos queremos es lidiar con analfabetos sexuales, o con esa clase de personas que afloran su lado modesto y hacen escenas de dignidad, No me toques aquí!! No allí!!

El sexo es por naturaleza algo sucio, asquerosamente divino, el cuerpo es como un instrumento al cual tienes que tocar minuciosamente, delicada y rudamente para encontrar la BitterSweetSimphony.

What are you looking for?

-Abiertos a probar cosas nuevas.

-Aunque tengamos una pareja establecida esto no indica que debamos caer en la monotonía que una gran mayoría tanto aborrecemos, debemos estar dispuestos a probar cosas nuevas, el hombre se aburre de ser siempre quien lleve las riendas, la mujer se harta de ser la que mande, lo mejor es ponernos de acuerdo y hacer como en trabajos de horarios rotativos, disfrazarnos, jugar al gato y al ratón, la policía y el ladrón, la puta y el guapón, cubrir historias, el Hook-Up, Love affair, a que somos un día Friends With Benefits,cambiar los roles siempre ayuda, contar historias mejora el sexo…

 La voz de la experiencia… 

-En el caso de los hombres puede ser que por cuestiones que me niego a escribir disfruten el sexo más con una mujer joven, pero en el caso femenino cabe resaltar que más sabe el diablo por viejo que por sabio, es decepcionante cuando te encuentras con un hombre de poca experiencia, no siempre estas para jugar a lo quiero rudo, los hombres jóvenes siempre tienen la idea de que mientras más duro le des más vas a lograr, olvidándose del HandJob, del BlowJob, de los besos que tanto te hacen humedecer, el hombre experimentado es tremendamente cuidadoso, sabe cómo y dónde tocarte  con ellos no temas el Withdrawal y 👀no se desinfla tan rápido…

 Keep Going, @$**# me so hard… 

-Nasty… 

Las palabras deben ser necesarias a la hora de una relación sexual, debemos saber cómo la está pasando el otro, si estamos teniendo sexo queremos que esa persona nos hablé al oído con la respiración entrecortada que te indica que la está pasando bien, que te diga cosas sucias, que llore, que grite que sea libre, si estamos haciendo el amor nos gusta que de la misma forma nos digan cosas lindas, sin duda alguna las palabras son un afrodisiaco natural, si no tienes pareja y sólo disfrutas no olvides To Wear A Raincoat.

 Los mejores amantes...

-Los europeos suelen ser los mejores amantes, _pero que decissss los latinos somos los mejores, _calmaos que cuando la conciencia es bruta el cuerpo le sale sobrando, me la juego al decir que los europeos son los mejores amantes y puede ser que una gran minoría de otros lugares también, ¿por qué?? Sencillo son los más abiertos mentalmente, no se niegan a innovar, hasta que nosotros no estemos de acuerdo en que a los complejos no son buenos compañeros y con ellos no podremos disfrutar nada al máximo, no hay problema con To Use The Back Door, es normal, juguetear con todo lo que tengas siempre será bueno.

… Siempre he pensado que hacer el amor es bailar, sólo que sin ropa, donde puedes imponer varios estilos y ritmos porque mientras más descontrolado y alejado de la rutina estés más divertido se torna.

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